This year, we’ve just received great news about one of four latest clients and their UC transfer application. They got in! The school? UC Berkeley.

*Cue streamers*

Now, they actually got into other schools like UCLA, UC San Diego, and a few other transfer schools of their choice. This article, though, is just focused on our client’s admission to Berkeley, particularly what it took for him to get in.

So, here are their stats:

1. School transferring from: Pasadena City College
2. GPA: 3.6
3. Major: Computer Science
4. Club Activities: None
5. Notable Achievements / Awards: None
6. Internship / Work Experience: Computer Science Intern

The most important thing to consider about these stats is that the student was able to get away with rather average marks and a lack of notable awards and activities. This was pretty great surprise. What really made the difference in this essay, however, was that the client was able to make their paper shine through their internship work. It’s not everything, but it was one of the primary attributes that made this into one of our list of UC Berkeley Transfer essays that work.

The internship work that our client had completed was what allowed his college essay and transfer application to demonstrate his proclivity to go above and beyond to actualize his career dreams.

That’s all college admissions officers are really looking for: proof from applicants that they will go beyond their comfort zones to actualize their dreams.

Of course, not everyone has put in the effort to win awards, achieve great accomplishments in clubs, or find time out of school to work in internships for their professors. That’s why colleges provide a little bit of leeway for students who can show their determination and passion through writing the college essay section.

Unfortunately, the client was unable to meet with us on time to allow for a whole two weeks of editing and essay optimization. As such, we had to settle with a few mistakes and less than optimal writing capabilities on our part due to time constraints. (which was rather nerve-wracking, considering this was an admissions essay aimed for UCB) Had they arrived earlier for a consultation, we may have had enough time to make more severe changes to better optimize his chances for some of the higher schools that he placed his targets on.

Without further ado, here are the transfer essays that were completed and revised by our client and our team.

UC Transfer Essay Prompt 1

Yup, they’re getting right to that topic. Your UC Berkeley transfer essays are going to have to show that you weren’t just studying for the high marks and the grades. They are going to want to see that you planned for your future here!

“Please describe how you have prepared for your intended major, including your readiness to succeed in your upper-division courses once you enroll at the university.“

The essence of mathematics is the simplification of complex problems into a combination of smaller, simpler problems. As an avid mathematics enthusiast, and a computer science major, I understand this principle firsthand. My rigorous study of mathematics and computer science has given me the opportunity to model and solve real-world problems mathematically. In turn, my exploration of mathematics and computer science has given me a solid academic foundation to build upon. One day, I hope to contribute to the advancements of mathematics and computer science as a doctorate student.

My thorough study of mathematics in conjunction with computer science classes has enlightened me to the problem-solving power of mathematics. By augmenting mathematical structures, we can model real world problems on a computer. Currently, I am working with my computer science professor to publish an innovative syllable counting algorithm which model characters as vertices in a directed graph. Modeling words as graphs allows computers skip numerous special syllable cases. Working on this algorithm has given me more insight to how mathematics can optimize current computer science ideas.

As expected, I have opted to take as many math courses as realistically possible. This means that, because I also work part-time, I have a 55-hour work week; a work week similar to the average modern computer scientist. That being said, I have been able to persevere and maintain excellent academic standards. I will continue to work, in order to simulate the work week of a computer scientist.

Overall, I believe I am thoroughly prepared to face upper division courses. I am used to the workload, and I am more than eager to learn. If my stressful life has given me anything, it has granted me a love of theoretical mathematics and computer science. My adventures in these fascinating subjects has taught me the power of problem division. All complex problems can be divided into simpler sub-problems. Likewise, we can model upper division course as a problem. I am eager to engage and excel in these courses, one small step at a time.

UC Transfer Essay Prompt 2

The UC Berkeley transfer essays aren’t all about grades and brutal studying! If you’re the type to write poems under a rainbow or sing emotional songs when you’re having a bad day, this one might be for you.

“Every person has a creative side, and it can be expressed in many ways: problem solving, original and innovative thinking, and artistically, to name a few. Describe how you express your creative side.

Personally, creativity is an alternate method of expression. When I play piano, I describe my emotions and favorite memories using various tones instead of words. By manipulating techniques that I play on the piano, I can make a piece reflect ineffable aspects of my life. In a way, my music becomes my medium of communication. However, not all music is created equal. Classical music is elegant, but fragile. Jazz music is abstract and expressive but fails to reflect the deeper aspects of my life. In the end, my exploration of various forms of music have taught me a lot about life.

I have been playing classical music for almost 12 years. In classical music, it is essential to play as close to the score as possible. Consequently, interpretations come from small improvisations, dynamics, and tempo. Improvisations allow me to add color to the song. Changing the key alters the mood, whereas slowing down the tempo emphasizes a particular moment. At the end of any song, every variation in technique contributes to the portrait of my soul.

On the other hand, I have only been playing jazz for 6 months. The abstract and boisterous nature of jazz allows for large sections of improvisation and drastic changes to dynamics and tempo. With this much control over the color of the composition, a wide range of images can be encoded into the music. In jazz, improvisations change the direction of the song; variations in tempo and dynamics adds to the complexity of the image. Playing around with jazz shows my love for music.

Whether I choose to play classical or jazz music, music allows me to express indescribable feelings. The fragility of classical music reflects the deeper aspects of my life. Contrarily, jazz allows me to play with the fundamental structure of a piece. My journey with music has taught me one irrevocable fact: life is extremely complicated and diverse. We should follow our dreams before it is too late to do so. That being said, I know that my dream is to add to the theory of mathematics and computer science.

UC Transfer Essay Prompt 3

UC Berkeley’s transfer prompt 3 is actually quite similar to prompt 4 in that they concern development over time. This one is just more concerned about the quality of your talent. Remember: it’s okay to brag about this one, but it’s not just about how talented or skilled you are. This is also about how the admissions officers can have a good idea of what kind of person you are.

“What would you say is your greatest talent or skill? How have you developed and demonstrated that talent over time?“

One of my closest friends is trying to become a realtor. In his quest for success, he has faced numerous difficulties. Yet, without fail, he still gives life his best effort. Watching his struggle has bestowed upon me a crucial fact of life; we cannot expect the best results without giving our best effort. As a consequence, we cannot give our fullest effort without first understanding ourselves. This has led me to believe that time management is my greatest skill. With good time management, I maximize my performance in different segments of my life. In turn, I maximize my growth as student.

Like many others, my time management skill was not always up to par. After high school, I was unprepared to make my own schedule. Consequently, I was hindered by my poorly planned schedule. During my first Summer semester at PCC, I had requested for more working hours than I could handle. Without enough time to focus on my studies, I was unable to perform as well as I could. That semester gave me the encouragement to look deeper into myself. I analyzed my educational needs and scheduled around inconveniences. I took more time to analyze my workload and request reasonable working hours. I gave time to myself, to revive myself from the strenuous, studious life. The more I understood myself, the better I was able to manage my time. In turn, I was able to perform better overall. Now, I maintain an excellent academic record, a part time job, and a social life.

To this day, I continue to push my own limits. This semester, I opted to take more units and more ambitious classes than I have ever taken before. My extraordinary time management is helping me excel in these classes. Analyzing myself helped me understand that my interest in mathematics and computer science is set in stone. In turn, recognizing my own basic needs helps me optimize my schedule. Like my friend, I have come to understand myself on a deeper level; I am fully prepared to fully devote myself to computer science and mathematics.

UC Transfer Essay Prompt 4

The UC Berkeley transfer essay prompt 4 follows the typical obstacle structure of many other college admissions essays.

“Describe the most significant challenge you have faced and the steps you have taken to overcome this challenge. How has this challenge affected your academic achievement?“

Franklin D. Roosevelt once said, “the only thing we have to fear, is fear itself”. My current interpretation of President Roosevelt’s words is that improvement comes from boldness. If we hesitate in the face of difficulty, we would not achieve anything. That being said, I had terrible social anxiety. In high school, I went above and beyond in avoiding others. However, I knew that without adequate communication skills, I would have significantly less opportunities to succeed when I grew older. Now that I am much older, I have significantly enhanced my social skills.

I was able to improve my communication abilities by accepting a job offer as a waiter. In fact, I had gotten an exceptional recommendation from a close friend (which is how I got the job). By accepting this job, I was forcing myself into a foreign, continuously social environment. Although I did not perform well in the beginning, I was able to improve to an excellent standard with hard work. Working as a server motivated me to learn and practice social skills I had previously lacked. Additionally, the working environment gave me the opportunity to demonstrate the skills that I had practiced. For over half a year, I struggled to improve. However, my struggle paid off, as now my regular customers praise me for my rapid development. After working for a year, my excellent work had caught the eye of my boss, who assigned me yet another task. Now, I also manage the boss’s schedule and provide suggestions during marketing meetings as one of her personal assistants.

Presently, I work approximately twenty-five hours a week, in conjunction with my studies. By forcing myself into social territories, I was able to motivate myself to learn and practice the communication skills that I needed. From this experience, I gained more than just social ability; I also gained the courage to step out of my comfort zone, in the pursuit of self-improvement. Which is why I know I will succeed after transferring. Upper division classes are difficult and daunting; regardless, I will face them without fear.

What may be most daunting is the fact that this applicant had actually had help from their professor to get internship experience to work with. What makes this so effective is not just the fact that they had work experience to show their determination and perseverance to their career.

They also can practically guarantee a great letter of recommendation from said professor.

The letters of recommendation play a major role in the admissions process. They are another layer of proof that the student was able to work on their career enough that they have the approval of other authority figures. This holds a lot of weight. So if you can find a good opportunity to get an internship with your professor before transferring, your admissions essay might be added to our “UC Berkeley transfer essays that worked” list! (if you don’t mind us showing you off!)

If you can’t get an internship with a professor in your school, you’ll have to suffice with writing the transfer admissions essay. But remember, you’ll be facing off against a lot of other very qualified and very intelligent students. One of the only other factors that can make a severe difference in your UC application is the personal insight questions. If you can show through your writing that you have the determination and have put in the effort to actualize your dreams, you will have a much better chance of getting accepted.  

You might also want to consider appealing to the desire of the admissions officers and what the school is looking for. We covered that schools want to see people who actually manifest their dreams, but there’s a reason. Why? Because those people are the most likely candidates to make genuine change in the world, and who wouldn’t want people like that in their universities?

Berkeley even says so themselves on their admissions selection page.

If you’re likely to manifest your dreams into reality and actualize it to a certain degree, then you’ve already got the mindset needed to make genuine change in the world. That’s what great schools like Berkeley want! People who are great because they can make differences in the world with their accomplishments due to their right mindset. You don’t have to be Obama’s son, and you don’t have to win wars overseas; you just have to have the attributes of world-changers, and demonstrate them in your paper!

Have any questions about the UC Berkeley transfer admissions essays? Haven’t won any awards or gained any internship experience? That’s why we’re here to help. Contact us for a free consultation and learn how we can map and optimize your UC transfer admissions essay to give you the competitive edge you need.