In today’s article, we will cover some of our Santa Clara University essay examples that worked. These were edited essays that we worked on with a client of ours to help them get accepted with lower than average scores. The following essay also helped them accepted with a $6,000 scholarship.
Here, we will cover both the Santa Clara University essay examples themselves as well as the writing techniques used to make them successful. You should consider implementing these into your own SCU essays. To give you a better picture, the Santa Clara University essay examples below belonged to a student who was applying for a computer science major. They had a decent GPA that was just slightly disadvantaged, but also not bad for the school’s standards. Although the applicant eventually attended Boston University, the Santa Clara University essay examples below demonstrate a good idea of just exactly the quality of writing you need to get accepted.
With that said, let’s cover the essays below.
Table of Contents
Santa Clara University Essay Prompt 1
Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring to Santa Clara University and the objectives you hope to achieve.
(3500 characters)
Santa Clara University Essays
Student Essay
Justice for children’s education is long overdue —especially because of how poorly our education system has failed them.
That many grade-schoolers sacrifice their mental well-being for a crumb of recognition has burned itself in my mind. I would certainly love to find the best method of making students smarter without sacrificing their mental health. So, for the past few years, I’ve reoriented my academic career to focus on creating a product that would revolutionize the education system for youths and do justice to its shortcomings.
The reason I wanted to transfer to Santa Clara is that it is absolutely vital to my success as a developer of a future SaaS company: I want to create a software product that uses the power of machine learning and artificial intelligence to create self-correcting teachers that maximize student success whilst minimizing mental strain.
At the end of the day, I am certain that if admitted I would attend Santa Clara University because of both its academic fit and club opportunities.
Courses such as professor Yi Fang’s COEN 140: Machine Learning and Data Mining are critical elements to my startup’s success. Because the program I plan to develop in the future requires gathering large sums of data and using machine learning to better predict the behaviors and learning patterns of students, this course will be perfect for building the fundamentals of my startup’s program. If possible, I would also love to have the opportunity to one day TA and learn more under professor Yi Fang. His works, particularly User click prediction for personalized job recommendation and Tracking Climate Change Opinions from Twitter Data appear to be quite relevant and synonymous in nature to the work that I plan to conduct in the near future. To learn under him and further work along with him would be great for building the structure of my SaaS company in the coming years.
Santa Clara’s clubs and the limitless networking opportunities it has made it an obvious choice. As an aspiring future SaaS developer, I was starved of networking opportunities with others who shared similar interests in computer science with entrepreneurship. My current institution’s population of computer scientists and entrepreneurs were less interested in developing or creating their own products than they were bee-lining for career opportunities working for others. However, clubs such as Santa Clara’s ACM club embrace a tight-knit culture and promote networking. A community that advocates for networking and collaborative efforts along with the startup culture of the school –including its proximity to the Silicon Valley– make it a breath of fresh air from my current institution and, more importantly, it serves as a great spot for me to find future co-founders and collaborators.
I blueprinted my plan to develop my SaaS company to include the right institution that would spearhead my initiative the best. My current institution is not sufficient to help launch my career; however, Santa Clara would be the most fitting place to learn everything I need to launch my SaaS company and at last make a great difference in the world of education. For its academic fit and club networking opportunities, Santa Clara is the perfect launchpad for my startup; If I can entrust my future project to help the children of the future, then I know I would certainly attend if admitted as well.
Santa Clara University Example Essay Worked 1
Why was this essay Strong?
Moral Virtues: One of the ways you can make your college essay stronger compared to the rest is by using moral virtues. Remember: most applicants apply to college because they can see a career path ahead of them. That is typically the extent of their desires. Tying in your moral virtues with your reasons for applying to a college will set you apart from the rest because it demonstrates a level of personal responsibility on a larger scale.
Let’s say you want to start a business that streamlines business operations in rural areas. This has both a career path ahead of it as well as a vision of revivifying rural areas. Thus, your application becomes more important than anyone else applying for the sole purpose of a career. Rejecting you would inexorably mean jeopardizing the moral virtues you’ve tied in with your career.
Clear Career Path: This is a rather important one. Many of our applicants have a vague or foggy career path. Although admissions officers often won’t hold it against you for being undecided about what you want to do, they may prefer students who already have a clear career path ahead of them. The student in this essay not only knew what major they wanted to take but also the project they wanted to conduct. They planned to create a SaaS company that will provide more value for students and the education industry.
They also knew exactly why the classes at BU would play a critical role in their career paths. This brings us to the next point.
Referring to School Resources: One of the things you’ll notice about both of our Santa Clara University example essays is that they define the school’s resources and their role in their career.
Think about this: imagine you can attend any school you wanted. Every school from Harvard, Yale, and Princeton will accept your application. Why would you still take Santa Clara University?
For some, this sounds preposterous. However, consider that schools like Harvard aren’t at the top of the percentile for engineering. A student taking Engineering may want to attend another school. When you are writing your Santa Clara University essays, there should be a clear reason why the school’s resources are better for actualizing your career path compared to every other school.
Santa Clara University Essay Prompt 2
Driven by the Jesuit values outlined in our mission statement, Santa Clara University promises to educate citizens and leaders of competence, conscience, and compassion. We strive to cultivate knowledge and faith to build a more humane, just, and sustainable world. Write about an experience from your life that embodies an aspect of our mission.
(between 900 – 1800 characters)
Santa Clara University Essays
Student Essay
A Pen.
It was the end of my Freshman year when I had seen this pen. The spring semester was coming to a close, so escaping the sun’s beating rays and entering the local Chase Bank and feeling the rush of complimentary air conditioner was a blessing.
An assistant ushered me to one of the vacant glass door cubicles. I did. I sat down and stared at fake plants, card displays with fancy blue sheens, and a plaque written in gold lettering congratulating something.
Later, a man walked in and exchanged “hello”s and “how are you”s.
“I was thinking of starting a savings account.”
“Great! Here’s a pen. Just sign here, here…”
I felt the instrument’s weight, well, weigh on my palm. It was a jet black cylinder hiding an aristocratic gold tip as if to say, “I am the boss.”
I started the savings account to save money for my future SaaS startup reimagining children’s education. I’ve dived into the world of code and business for long nights just to prepare myself for launching this company, and yet I was bewitched by the transcendent experience of holding the pen. This simple transition from chewed-on ballpoint pens to a fancy ‘executive class’ one felt unreal. A fancy pen: It’s all it took to make me feel close to my dream. “I’m doing this. Oh my goodness, I’m actually doing this!”
That day was the closest I was to Santa Clara’s mission of the search for goodness for the world and society. Seeking educational justice by revitalizing it with the power of computer science: that was my plan, and Santa Clara’s mission to search for goodness resonated with me on that. However, I never expected it would be a simple stroke of a pen that made me most connected to this mission.
Santa Clara University Example Essay that Worked 2
Why was this essay Strong?
Creative Focus: This essay was different from the first University of Santa Clara example essay because it takes on a more creative approach. While the first essay took more practicality, this one uses a creative topic to explain the concept.
In the Santa Clara University example essay provided above, the applicant could have simply talked about how they had dreams for making a better learning environment for children. However, they chose a very particular instance that everyone could have related to: the “fresh start” feeling people get when they open a bank account.
The applicant here makes use of imagery and deep details to describe what it is like to have a “fresh new beginning”. The professionalism of the man in the suit, the glass door cubicles, and the fake plants and shining plaques of gold letters. These all bring a feeling of “conventional office” which also helps admissions officers relate to their first moment of getting a new bank account. It’s a feeling of overwhelming professionalism and “business-esque” atmosphere. The very weight of a fancy pen puts the icing on the cake that the applicant is truly beginning to start something big. They are not given a random ballpoint pen that teachers give their students, it’s a professional and sleek one. It signs into the paper not just her signature, but also her promise that her future SaaS career starts today.
Unconventional Sentence and Paragraph Structure: This basic rules applies to both of the Santa Clara University essay examples. In fact, you should be incorporating this practice into all your college essays. The rule is this: use unconventional sentence and paragraph structure.
That doesn’t mean you need to make your essays weird. You simply need to give your SCU essays a diverse paragraph and sentence structure. The reason why this works –and works in the example essay– is because it makes the essays easier to read. If you have similar sentences and paragraphs all with the same length and punctuation, the essay will drone on and on. Diversify your punctuation and sentence length, and diversify the paragraph length; this will add a unique structure to your SCU essays and help it stand out. Here’s an example of this idea.
Notice how this paragraph has similar sentence length and little to no difference in punctuation? The only noticeable difference in tone is the transition word “However” and the comma after it. This paragraph drones on and on. This will not help you stand out in the application process. Now, let’s take a look at this example.
In this example, we can see how the length of sentences differs. They transition from short to long. They also use different forms of punctuation such as commas and semicolons. By doing this in your essays, you will have a strong application essay for SCU, and you will stand out amongst the rest of the applicants.
Show Don’t Tell: This principle goes hand in hand with the first point. However, we’ll summarize the basic point: you want to make sure you reveal to the admissions officers what you are trying to convey rather than just tell them. It is one thing to tell the admissions officers that you felt the overwhelming cleanliness and professionalism of the bank made the opening business account feel that much more real. However, it is another to convey it with rich details which hint at the atmosphere. Here’s an example.
…escaping the sun’s beating rays and entering the local Chase Bank and feeling the rush of complimentary air conditioner was a blessing.
An assistant ushered me to one of the vacant glass door cubicles. I did. I sat down and stared at fake plants, card displays with fancy blue sheens, and a plaque written in gold lettering congratulating something.
I felt the instrument’s weight, well, weigh on my palm. It was a jet black cylinder hiding an aristocratic gold tip as if to say, “I am the boss.”
Santa Clara University Example Essay 2
Notice the words the applicant chooses to use to describe the atmosphere. The feeling of oppressive heat is suddenly taken away when complimentary air conditioner fills the room. This is a feeling everyone can relate to, and it often is the feeling that brings a sense of “civilized” atmosphere opposed to the outside world.
The applicant then uses the description of the fake plants, blue sheen, and gold lettering to show the feeling of hyper-orderly professionalism that so characterizes the world of not just corporate life, but business life as a whole.
Then, the applicant goes on to describe the weight of the pen on her palm. They pair this with the gold tip that makes her feel like they were a boss. This combination of a weighty, expensive pen with the feeling of a gold aristocratic tip is something that hints to the admissions officers that the applicant has transcended the basic work stage. They has entered the world of corporate work, and with it comes the flashy yet responsibility-filled world of starting a SaaS company.
If you have any other questions about our Santa Clara University essay examples, or just want to get help on your SCU essays, you should consider speaking with an admissions expert. Consider scheduling a free consultation with our college essay experts. We will respond back to you within 24 hours.
