USC Transfer Essay Success: An Example

by
USC Trojan

The USC transfer essay can be quite daunting, especially if your GPA and extracurriculars are not very impressive. Fortunately for you, dear reader, you may still fulfill your dream of becoming a Trojan!

Below we have a successful USC transfer essay from a very fortunate and generous applicant. They were able to get accepted into USC with some rather average scores. No, not average compared to a lot of students; we mean average as in average for the rest of the transfer applicants to USC. So, what did their stats look like? Their college stats before transferring were something like this compared to the competition.

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Their GPA: 3.8

Average USC Transfer GPA: 3.7

Okay, so that’s not exactly a large advantage amongst the rest of the admissions pool. With that said, our applicant must have had something to compensate for their competition.

Remember: it’s not enough to be average to get in to your dream school (unless you want to rely on the luck of the draw), you want to have something to show you are better than the rest of the admissions pool to maximize your admissions chances.

With that said, they did in fact have something to compensate for it! And no, we don’t mean bribes. They were able to play the college admissions game right by constructing their story for the college essay as well as possible. Though they do not have all of the traits that we put in our college application services, due to their having consulted us only after their submission, they were a fantastic writer who nonetheless hit most of the good points.

Without further ado, let’s take a look at our applicant’s successful USC Transfer Essay.

USC Transfer Essay: The Prompt.

Please provide a statement that addresses your reasons for transferring and the objectives you hope to achieve. You can type directly into the box, or you can paste text from another source. (Approximately 650 words)

Entrepreneurial spirit that contradicts the misogynistic status quo? That’s quite the tale for an applicant to a school that values holistic admissions. That’s the thing: a great story and identity, especially one that involves facing adversity, makes for a great USC transfer essay.

I want my success to be determined by what I do, not who I am. Growing up as a Vietnamese-born immigrant, I have been influenced by the culture of my parents as well as that of my peers. At a youth conference that I attended in Vietnam, two businessmen proclaimed that a woman’s appearance was more important than her professional capabilities in defining her potential for early career success. This unfortunate yet earnest piece of advice, stemming from years of cultural and societal conditioning, had been impressed on me as the status quo, complicating an already convoluted path for a young aspiring lawyer like me to navigate.

I was not born with privilege, nor was I expected to become particularly successful in my future career, but I had always wanted to be self-made and a professional involved in law and politics. Relying on my grit, and with my husband’s support, I forged a plan that involves attending a University to realize my goal to become a lawyer. After a tumultuous experience in High School, I had seized the opportunity to attend Pasadena City College so that I could better prepare both financially and academically for the opportunity to transfer to a leading University to study Political Science. It had become clear at the end of High School that I needed such a stepping stone in order to build a stronger foundation and strived to improve my study habits, while using the experience I gained from a part-time job as a fashion model to build confidence and fearlessness as a woman.

My academic interest was in political affairs and I was especially drawn to how externalities influence political outcomes, such as how the appearance of a woman running for office can become a deciding factor over her campaign platform. Just like how the social sciences have double blind studies and the life sciences have experimental controls, I would like to learn about the science of politics and how we can apply scientific principles to the development of greater political competency. I also want to be better prepared for entry into a law school, where what I accomplish as an undergraduate will help me secure the strongest opportunity forward. I believe that the world class faculty at USC and perhaps a scholarship or two would allow me to proudly accomplish my goal and represent the next generation of young professionals who are what they do.

Here we will show you some of the positive attributes that make this college essay so powerful. We will show you what they did in their essay (that is covered in our editing services) that gave them the competitive edge to get accepted by USC.

  1. Interesting Intro: The introduction here could be optimized more to bring out some of the gravity of the situation. Nonetheless, it’s a rather well-written part. The first line suggests that there was a problem with the way the our applicant was seen and she later clarifies it by describing the businessmen. The introduction should have something interesting in it that makes the whole admissions essay stand out. Having a good topic to write about, especially if it is about social pressures and fighting against the status quo, will help you have an incredible advantage against other applicants. There are plenty of ways to find good topics to make your intro look good.

On the topic of good introductions and good admissions essay topics, you can find our articles about it here.

Topics Article

Good Introduction Article

2. More Questions than Answers: This is a technique that is implemented by more talented writers, so it may be rather difficult to execute properly. The gist of this is that the writer answers a question, or begins to answer a question, with background information that obscures. This means that they made the admissions officers more confused than they are informed. This may sound like a rather bad idea; after all, who would want to just make the admissions officers more confused than necessary. Bear with us here.

The goal of doing this is mostly in the intro. The writer writes enough about their background to inform eh admissions officers but leaves out very critical context to make the situation seem more dynamic than it may be.

Our applicant here does exactly this. Instead of just spilling all the tea by saying “People said a woman’s anatomy is more important than their business sense, then I proved them wrong”, she puts more detail into suggesting the disgust she feels about this viewpoint and, in the end of the paragraph, implies that something will happen where she prove them wrong.

Note: As effective as this is in convincing admissions officers (it certainly helped with our applicant) this is very difficult to do properly. We’ve seen plenty of rough drafts fail to do this without our intervention or help. Thus, we suggest that if you are looking for a good introduction with this stylized writing, you should consult with one of our expert admissions editors first.

3. Rising From Ashes: In the USC transfer essay, and in just about every admissions essay at that, it is vital to have a description of personal growth or development. The only exception to this is if the essay prompt asks something of you that makes it impossible to bring up personal growth. (which is very rare since it’s such a common topic!) This doesn’t mean just getting better at something: everyone has that. A good moment of personal growth is going through a “fall” or “dark times” that inspire you to make yourself better. A wealthy student from a nice neighborhood in New York working through personal struggles may not be as impressive as one who had been living through oppressive forces all their lives.

Now, this does not mean you have to have had a bad backstory in order to demonstrate personal growth. However, it does mean you should find an instance of “lacking” in your life that had become the catalyst to your personal growth. Everyone has one, no matter how big or small; you just have to be able to dig through it and write it in the right way to make it work for you.

We do understand that this may be very difficult for people who have a hard time finding “low-points” in their lives; for that we recommend that you shoot us a message! We deal with situations where students cannot write their admissions essay to its maximum capacity all the time. When you talk with our admissions experts, you will have a better prepared USC transfer essay that will maximize your chances of admission.

122 thoughts on “USC Transfer Essay Success: An Example”

    • Hi Jeff! I just sent you an email. As a reminder, please reply to our email with the best callback number for my team and I to reach you! Thank you!

      Reply

  7. Hi jason, I am currently applying to transfer to USC as well! do you think you could help me with my application? Thank you so much

    Reply

  8. Hi, Jason,

    I am writing essay for transfering to USC. Could you give me more sample essay? I am stuck that I don’t know what to write.

    Reply

  19. Hello! I am currently applying to USC and I would love to receive any help with my essays or just an overview of my application if possible.

    Reply

    • Hi Emily! Thank you for your request. We can certainly help with your transfer essays. We just sent you an email and we can help you from there. Thanks!

      Reply

    • Hi Dareh!

      Thank you for your reply. Because we are in the last few days of the admissions season for USC Transfer, we are experiencing high volumes of clients and requests. As such, the available services may change. However, we may still help you and anyone coming after in whatever way we can! I sent you a message to your email!

      Reply

  37. Hi Jason :

    I am applying as a transfer student to USC for Fall 2022.

    Can I please get guidance with my essay?

    Thank you,
    Zayn

    Reply

  38. Hi Jason

    I am also applying as a transfer student to USC for Fall 2022. I would very much appreciate some guidance on my essay

    thank you,
    Dai

    Reply

  39. Hi Jason I see that loads of students are interested in feedback. I’ll be transferring for the fall semester of 2022. May I receive some guidance?
    Best, David

    Reply

  40. Hi Jason,

    I am also applying as a transfer student to USC for Fall 2022 as a CS major. I would very much appreciate some guidance on my essays.

    Thanks,
    Rohit

    Reply

    • Hi Rohit! I can certainly help you through a free consultation over the phone (or zoom depending on what you prefer). We actually get quite a few CS majors requesting help, so I’d be glad to help however I can! I sent you an email.

      Reply

  41. Hi Jason,

    I am also applying as a transfer student to USC for Fall 2022 as a Business Administration major. It would be amazing if I could guidance.

    Sincerely,
    Daymen

    Reply

    • Hi Daymen!

      Thank you for your request for help! Some of our advising and guidance services have changed indefinitely and we won’t expect services to return to their original format until around mid-March or so. I’ll provide more info on this through email. I’ve sent you an email!

      Reply

    • Hi Renee!

      Thank you for your request for help. We apologize for the late reply; we’ve been quite busy with helping clients on their USC essays due to the close deadline! The deadline has been extended to the 16th, though, which gives us some spare time. We can provide some advising and guidance services, but some are limited indefinitely. I’ve sent you an email!

      Reply

  43. Hello,

    I am not sure if this page is still active, however, It would be beyond appreciated if I could receive some help. I am applying to Transfer to USC for Fall 2023. I have already composed my essays and have been editing!

    Reply

    • Hi Anna!

      Thank you for your reply! We’ve recently been swamped with requests for hourly and package services; so, replies for free consultations had to slow down a bit. However, we still have space and can help with your essays. I sent you an email!

      Reply

  53. Hello,
    I am applying for transfer for Fall 2023 and could use help with my essay. Can you please give me information on your process?

    Reply

    • Hi Jarvis!

      My apologies! We received your request quite late into the deadline and thus don’t have any available spots for reviews! However, we are still available to help out with other colleges that are past the February 15th deadline! I just sent you an email about that!

      Reply

  55. Hiꜝ, I am also thinking of transferring to USC next term. Could I also ask for some help?̊̈ The post was beneficial. Thank you so much. Have a great day.

    Reply

    • Hi Victoria! Thanks for the request and I’m glad you like my post! I just sent you an email where you can reserve a free consultation with me! (:

      Reply

  56. Hello,
    I am applying for a transfer for Fall 2024 and could use help with my essay. Could I also ask for some help?̊̈ Thanks!

    Reply

    • Hi Sean! Of course! I would be happy to help and have just sent you an email where you can reserve a free consultation. Thanks! (:

      Reply

  57. Hi! I’m applying to USC for Fall 2024 as a transfer student. I don’t know if it’s a little late to ask for some help in formulating my essay, as the due date is next week. I hope to hear back soon. Thank you!

    Reply

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